Stan Geiger

Cash for Clunker Appliances

KOTV news anchor Tara Vreeland, in last night's newscast, mentioned the federal government is now set to head into a cash for clunker appliances program. The Department of Energy will set aside $300 million in borrowed money for $50 to $100 credits for people wanting a new fridge or dishwasher.

It seems Uncle Sam is bent on subsidizing just about anybody that wants to buy something these days. So I thought I might help out with a couple of suggestions.

How about cash for TV clunkers? I have two that are sitting around doing nothing thanks to the government's mandated changes. I don't really know what to do with them. I don't want to throw them away because they still work and, therefore, still have some potential value. They would still work with a DVD player. They would work with cable. But, I already have a DVD player hooked up to a working TV and don't figure I need another. And I don't subscribe to cable.

There is always the converter box. But I'm not sure going that route is worth the money. The TVs in question are very cheap models. I'd hate to invest in converter boxes and have the TVs wink out in six months. Then I would have two dead TVs and a couple of converter boxes for which I would have no use.

Now if Uncle Sam wants to offer me a credit that would allow me to trade them in for new digital models at half price, hey, we can talk deal.

How about cash for sofa clunkers? People need new sofas, too. Furniture dealers need a bailout, too. It wouldn't be right to leave such folks out of the gimme loop.

Plus, we could use the old sofas to reduce our dependence on foreign oil. We could burn them in power plants. Seriously, I've had my sofa for years. There's no telling how much methane in stored in those cushions.

And why stop there? We could have cash for clunker computers, cash for clunker lawnmowers, cash for clunker coffee pots, cash for clunker ceiling fans, cash for clunker dust ruffles, cash for clunker everything! Woo-hoo!

We'll just have the federal government keep piling debt on top of debt to subsidize the purchase of anything, anywhere, by any citizen. Yepper, that's some fine economic strategery.

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