Stan Geiger

Election Time in Tulsa

Ahhhh, it's election time again. It's the time when the smell of bullshit fills the air. Most refreshing, yes?

I guess mayoral candidates Tom Adelson and Dewey Bartlett have the most money to spend. I can tell that because they are the ones running the TV ads. Thanks to all you contributors. I really needed something else to wire-brush my butt-cheeks.

Both candidates, judging from their ads, think having a family is a qualification for being mayor in a city of 400,000 citizens.

When did that happen? When did having a wife, kids and parents become a qualification for a public job? I don't get it.

I don't have a wife or kids. My father died over 20 years ago. My mom is still with me, though. I have a sister, a brother-in-law and three nieces. And I have a cousin or two hanging around. For what public office am I qualified? Hey, maybe not governor or mayor. But maybe I could sneak into some low-level elected office on that resume. Do ya think?

Putting that aside, Adelson's ads tout his great legislative prowess when it came to spreading gubment money around. Great. You lost my vote with your ads, Tom. The gubment has no money. The money you have spread around in your legislative career, Tom, belonged to other people.

Of course, Adelson lost my vote with one little phrase in one of his ads about getting teachers pay raises. Teachers are the most pampered, overpaid, under-worked people in the American economy. I would vote for no politician running for any office that took credit for giving them more money.

I will give his political consultants a tip of the cap, however. The ads hit all the right buttons. Let's see, we've got health care, veterans, the elderly, kids and teachers. Perfect.

Bartlett's ads---aside from claiming he is a great family man---claim he is a great businessman. A couple of questions arise.

First, being a great businessman and a great family man takes up a lot of time. Where in the world would this man find time to be mayor of a city?

Second, if Dewey is such a great businessman, why does he need a taxpayer-paid-for job?

Sometimes I wonder. I mean a lot of lip-service is given to the need for money for this or that. A lot of it pertains to poor people. And politicians are usually at the top of the list of commentators.

So how much could be done for various needs in this country if the billions of dollars donated to politicians every year so they can run nonsensical TV ads went to the needs instead?

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